Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I think there's shit on your back.

First of all, excuse my language but I felt that I needed to use the actual statement to preserve the moment. I was in the Peace Corps office the day after thanksgiving and I was looking about as sharp as I could for a friday night. I Put on my duffel bag and was waiting with my friend Claire. We were standing around trying to get everyone to hit the road to the hostel but I kept getting distracted because something really smelled bad. I couldn't put my finger on the source but it seemed to be following me. I flipped my duffel bag around and checked to see if it was coming from inside my bag (sometimes wet clothing can stink after a few days in the humidity) but there was no sign of stink. As I looked at the bag one of the new volunteers said "hey man, I don't know if you knew this but... I think there's shit on your back." I took off my shirt and had a look. Sure enough, from shoulder to shoulder I was smeared with excrement. "God Damn it!" I was pretty upset. It wasn't normal dog poop either, it was the really smeary kind that stinks extra. The washing machine was full so I washed the shirt by hand (with detergent, thank you) in the sink at the office. I then traced the poop back to my bag and sure enough a dog (there had been multiple in the office) had crapped on my bag. You know, I always thought it was cruel and dangerous to put out rat poison in the office... now I think it is slightly less cruel and dangerous.


Heather W. said...

Sorry to hear about the "shit shirt" incident, but I think I laughed so hard, I cried. Please write a book about your experiences! If you want inspiration or to feel some empathy, read Sex Lives of the Cannibals or for this particular episode in your life, the Paris incident with bird shit in Bill Bryson's Neither Here nor There.

xoxo Aunt Heather ;)

arie said...

disturbingly funny!